Goodbye, Adieu, Auf Wiedersehen, Au Revoir, Adios...
Monica Seles and Penn Jillette are both gone from Dancing With The Stars, eliminated during the Model Round of the show. You know the Model Round: the first week (or weeks) when all the models are eliminated because they equate being their anorexic, drug-addled bodies as being fit enough to practice a dance routine for a couple hours a day.
Instead, we got rid of the really awkward folks, which is fine with me, leaving us with the sorta awkwardness of Priscilla, Marissa, and Steve. I don't know if Monica was trying to do The Robot, The Robocop, or what. If she would've busted out The Worm, it would've been cool.
And Chikezie. That guy was a cute little bundle of cuteness for me every week, but he made the dumb decision to shake the fans' hands on Tuesday night, and it got him into trouble. Don't touch the ladies, dude. Unless you're Michael Johns or David Cook. Then you can touch me, okay? Thanks.
But, at least we don't have to deal with this anymore:
(AI odds are also updated on that betting guide as well. Check it!)
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Someone has to go home on Dancing With The Stars this week
I mean, really. Please get these shenanigans underway so I can at least try and feel better about watching this. My appetite can only take a week of Penn Jilette.
The Las Vegas magician (who is clearly better at his day job) is at 40/1 over at Bodog. While normally we'd root for the local kid (by local we mean, actually lives here), I think it's just better for us all to send Sasquatch home.
Barack Obama's speech on race this week perked up a lot of folks. But did it change his odds at all? Well, maybe a little. betUS has updated their odds on who is going to be the next president of this little country of ours. Hillary Clinton is at +350, John McCain is at +135, and Barack Obama is in the lead with +115. The next big showdown for the Democrats is in Pennsylvania, which is still about a month away, and that could end up being the big deciding factor for the Dems. Could John McCain slip through and take the White House? The odds say no for now.
We won't be mean by calling her Amanda Le Pew. That seems a little overdone by now. But we're not all that sad to see her go. Check out the updated odds on our American Idol betting guide. Things may not be as locked up as you think.
So, you wanna win $50 at iTunes just by picking who's going home on American Idol tomorrow? Enter our American Idol contest on the forums and the winner will get $50 in iTunes dollars!
We'll have a betting guide later on this week, but for now, we'll just give you who our favorites are and who might be going home this week.
The guys dance tonight, and betUS has Adam Corolla down at the bottom of the list at +2000, which does not bode well for reigning champ Julianne Hough. She'd better get his butt to boot camp if he's going to have any chance of winning. Steve Guttenberg is also down at the bottom at +2000, which is probably likely considering his cheese factor. R&B singer Mario has the best chance for the guys at +300, and with Karina Smirnoff as his partner, he should get pretty far this season.
Tomorrow night is the ladies, and like we posted before, Kristy Yamaguchi is the favorite at +250, with Broadway actress Marissa Jaret Winokur at the bottom at +1500. But you know what? Don't hate on Marissa just because she's a little heavier. Sabrina Bryan kicked some butt for awhile last season.
So who's going home? It'll be hard to watch, but I think the Guttenberg and maybe Pricilla Presley (unless she pulls off a Marie Osmond and finagels the QVC crowd again). Oy.
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Hillary doesn't want to be Barack's VP, and Barack doesn't want to be Hillary's VP. But will it happen either way? betUS has a little prop on which way the ticket might go, depending on who gets the Democratic nomination.
For Obama to run with Clinton as VP, it's at +300, and for Clinton to run with Obama as VP, it's at +500, so neither one looks all that appealing, but Barack with Hillary as a running mate looks more plausible according to the numbers. That's probably because Barack's more of the favorite to win the election outright, but things could change-- just ask Hillary after Texas and Ohio.
Our handy-dandy annual American Idol Betting Guide is up for your viewing pleasure, and little David Archuleta is the favorite. But he has some stiff competition around him this year.
The girls are going nuts for this kid, and I just want to bake him some cookies and tuck him in. But he shouldn't be able to sing "Imagine" like that. Bodog has the odds on whether this kid will win it outright. With Yes at -160 and No at +120, he looks like the favorite. But we all know how effed up the competition can get after the final 12 are chosen. Just because they're the favorite doesn't mean they're going to win.
It seems like yesterday that we watched Helio and Julianne make out, and now we have a whole new cast of Dancing With The Stars. betUS already has their take on who might win on the new season that starts on the 17th. Of course, a couple of the athletes are the favorites, and most of the older folks are way down on the list:
Skater Kristi Yamaguchi is at +150 and Miami Dolphins player Jason Taylor is at +175. Football players do well on this show, but Jason's a defensive end, which is not the most graceful of positions on a team. Kristi is a graceful skater, so she already has the most experience out of everyone else in the competition.
Actress Marlee Matlin is at +1500, and one of our favorite 80's icons Steve Guttenberg is at +3000. Okay, look, Marlee Matlin is a fantastic actress, and I know she's got rhythm. She'll be lead around the floor for most of her dances. And Steve was a buff dude in the 80's, and now, maybe not so much. Unless he's able to pull out some serious charm, he's going home in the early weeks.
If the actors went on strike after the writers, they might as well just nuke Hollywood. Oh, wait. They should have done that anyway. Bodog has the odds on whether or not the Screen Actors Guild will hold a strike by the end of July of this year.
Yes is at +400 and No is at -700, so there really isn't a chance of that happening. But I guess we can all wish for a picket line where people like Hugh Jackman are holding up signs in solidarity.
I mean, that's what it feels like this season. The singing's been good, but when you have a bunch of kids not even out of high school yet, it's really hard to get a performance out of someone who hasn't even gotten past second base.
But with 6 out of the 16 people left 20 years old or younger, it's a pretty good chance one of the little cherubs is going all the way. Bodog has the odds on which age group is going to win this season.
16-20 is at 1/3, and think about who's been good so far in that group: Archuleta and Ramiele. That could probably be the top two, if people vote for them during the season. 21-25 is at 17/4,and you've already got Carly in that group of folks, who's been signed and knows the downhill slide already. Then you have 26 or Older at 21/4, which basically leaves Michael Johns, and as good (and hot) as he is, he really is the old man of the group. Last year, Melinda and LaKisha were the old ladies, and they had the stamina, but Jordin somehow pulled it out at the end.
The way the girls scream at David Archuleta, he might as well be the New Kids On The Block all over again. Or New Edition, because he's like Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, and Mike, and Ralph and Johnny, all wrapped up in a baby blanket. Aww.
And in case you missed it last week, here's Alaina crying like a brat at last week's elimination:
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