You mean the DWTS judges are meaner this year? Sweet!
So I wasn't able to catch all of last night's awesomeness due to watching the premiere of Heroes (what's up with Mohinder and his sudden hotness? He's like the new Sayid or something.), but I was able to get enough of the gist of the show (and with some extra reading around the Interwebs) was able to get the update on the show.
Wow.
So I know it's only the first night. Everbody's nervous and nobody really breaks out that first night. Usually we only see possible flashes of brilliance. But what I'm wondering is why Toni Braxton had to cancel her Vegas show because of a heart condition only to go on this show, which pushes you to the limit physically.
Ugh. I was kinda hoping the Cloris Leachman would bring some old-school charm to the ballroom, but unfortunately she just showed some old woman cleavage. I wish that Susan Lucci would've brought some of the old Jane Seymour grace, but I think she's just so used to be being a witch on a soap opera that it's hard to let that go when you're not at work. Right?
And the guys. Really, dudes? Jeff Ross is better at hosting roasts than dancing. Lance pulled it out a little, but he got beat by Brooke Burke tonight, which is pretty strange. And Warren Sapp kinda surprised the judges by not doing too shabbily. He might even stay in a little longer than we all expected.
So listen, when they bring on a big designer on this show, the contestants go apesh*t. It's almost like they don't know how to be themselves and they overcompensate. And the thing about this show is that it's so much about your individuality and asserting your voice with your talent than it is about the talent itself. And when you try to overly impress a huge designer by doing what they want as opposed to showing yourself off just backfires.
Except for this episode.
Normally sticking to your guns is a noble enterprise. Not so much for Stella. Especially when you look at the picture of her design, it just looks like a corporate vampire outfit. I think it's the lapels or something. And Leanne pulled out another one, which is both surprising and not. It's always those quiet ones you have to watch out for, right? But that doesn't mean that Korto isn't right behind her.
This season just seems so uneventful, I almost forget that I should be watching this show. I mean, there are some characters, but they're so one-dimensionally annoying I don't know whether or not I should be angry or just be completely apathetic, because once you do a challenge about SATURN and how to make dresses out of SATURN car parts, maybe it's time to just run the rest of the season on Lifetime already.
So Leanne won with this (actually very) hot vinyl number, which I'm sure all the fetishists went nuts over. And Leanne seems a little more humble without the nerdiness factor that's overly creepy. And Keith from Utah, who looks like an underground rapper or something, cried that he doesn't get enough opportunity living in Utah. Then move out, dipstick! Jesus.
Project Runway loves the nighttimes, likes to boogie
And Kenley wins again. Or, at least that's what it feels like, even though we're only 3 episodes in. Why does that not surprise me? Something about girls who are all up on the '50s tip really just charm the pants off of people, I guess. I don't really get it, but then again, I was never a big Betty Page fan.
Hey editors, can we get off of Suede's 3rd person annoying talk? 'Cause it's old. And if that's going to be this season's memorable thing, I'm going to want to start hearing Fierce! again.
Speaking of over. Blayne. Holla at yourself, dumbass. But having Sandra Bernhardt was classic. Way to rope in the gays, Bravo.
Really, it was probably good that Emily got kicked, because to be honest, she was kind of creepy. Maybe it was that artsy-fartsy hair cut that just reminded me that maybe she should've been on Sprockets instead. I have no idea what the hell that was on her dress, because it looked like flesh-colored crayons barfed all over it. I mean, Nina was speechless. How's that for epic fail?
Seriously. I didn't know this guy's name. But that's probably why he got kicked off on the second episode. All I know was that he was wearing a polo shirt, breast jacket, white shorts, and loafers during that runway show. How did he even get on this show?
Speaking of people who got on this show, why the hell is Stella here? She reminds me of my friends who used to live out in the boondocks of Vegas, wearing Harley shirts, drinking canned beer, and leaving empty cigarette butts upright on the corners of tables. If Anna Nicole were still alive, I'm sure she'd love Stella.
This seems to be the most whiney group of folks they've ever had. And not even evil, Wendy Pepper-whiney. It doesn't even feel like whiney with a purpose. Though I'm warming to Suede after this past challenge (how'd they score Natalie freaking Portman, by the way?), I'm waiting for him to go off on someone. He seems like the type, considering he talks about himself in the third person.
It's too early to say who's standing out, because most of the folks who move on are in the "You got a good score, you can leave the runway" herd. You could say either Joe or Daniel could really start to hit their stride in a few weeks, but the editors always cut to Daniel with this disgusted look on his face that he doesn't win the challenges, so that might be a hint that there's some larger dramarama at work.
I'm still getting over the shock that Natalie Portman wanted to do Project Runway. At least she didn't do it while it's on Lifetime. Man, credibility is a bitch.
At least, that's what it felt like watching the premiere last night. It's like, I get that you want to have folks who are fashion-conscious, but when you have folks who seem to be a little nerdy about it, it could make for a boring season.
But then again, there's always Blayne. It's like he's stuck in Tony Hawk's "The Search For Animal Chin," except, you know, he's from Washington. I can't wait to see the moles pop up on this cute little face. Or get into it with Suede. That'll be a great catfight.
Anyway, I'm hoping this season won't be the whole sentimental kind, since they'll be moving to Lifetime next season. (Ugh.) But it probably will, with guest appearances from everyone who's ever been on the show. Which will remind us how good this show used to be before it completely becomes the crap reality show we were fearing.
A lot of white folks. Not so sure about that.
As soon as there's odds up, we'll have the betting guide.
Listen, when you have a show with Donna Summer (Donnah Summah!), George Michael, Seal, and Bryan effing Adams, you know it's 2 hours for the ages. Plus jokes about Davids all night, Chikezie!, David Hernandez whispering "naked," and Amanda Overmeyer's complete lack of enthusiasm? Holy crap my head was about to asplode with joy.
Anyway.
So here's how it all broke down if you had bet this season on AI, and had either one of the Davids as your pick: Archie was the favorite up until about the final 6, and then Cook was just about even with him.
At the final 13, Cook was at a whopping 35/1, meaning that if you had bet the max $50 on him that opening week, you would've had a sweet $1750 payout while he was singing "Time Of Your Life" and giving Archie noogies last night.
Of course, I have to post "Father Figure" from last night. Best moment of the entire season (at least for pure entertainment value):
So I wasn't able to catch all of last night's awesomeness due to watching the premiere of Heroes (what's up with Mohinder and his sudden hotness? He's like the new Sayid or something.), but I was able to get enough of the gist of the show (and with some extra reading around the Interwebs) was able to get the update on the show.
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Listen, when you have a show with Donna Summer (Donnah Summah!), George Michael, Seal, and Bryan effing Adams, you know it's 2 hours for the ages. Plus jokes about Davids all night, Chikezie!, David Hernandez whispering "naked," and Amanda Overmeyer's complete lack of enthusiasm? Holy crap my head was about to asplode with joy.